One Hour of Self-Isolation (please)

By Anne Frankenstein

When I was asked to give some homesteading tips or any advice for parents that I thought would be helpful during quarantine, the number one thing that I could think of was how important it is for me to get that one hour a day completely by myself.

A hour that is not at the end of the day when the kids are in bed, I’m already tired, and I still have laundry and dishes from dinner to clean up…

Not at the very crack of dawn when I’m still just waking up for myself and preparing the day for distance learning and activities.

I’m talking about an actual break in the middle of the day, just for me.

Doing this can seem really hard, especially if you’re the designated parent to be home during quarantine while you have another partner working. But honestly, it’s essential to keeping your mental sanity. You need a break, and there are so many different ways to take your break.

But how do you let your kids know that it’s time for your break?

1) Sanity Robe.

What is a sanity robe, you ask? Well, for me it’s a disgusting, neon orange floral print robe. So bright and eye-catching that when I don it, my children automatically know Mommy is not to be bothered. Now, your sanity robe could be a “Me-Time Moo Moo” or a pair of “Stay-Away-From-Me Sweatpants.” It can honestly be anything, as long as your kids know that that item of clothing means that you need space.
I recommend something that is physically on your body vs having a space in your home, because to be honest– when you have kids, no room in the house is really safe. I wish I could just slip into my bathtub and be left alone for an hour. But if you’re like me, you have one tiny bathroom in your whole house, most bathtime rituals are interrupted by somebody else’s bladder. Also, taking me-time doesn’t necessarily mean secluding yourself to an individual place in your home. It means taking time for yourself, so when you are wearing something that signifies, “I just need to be left alone”, it gives you more freedom to move about your quarantine cabin. So try to find something you can wear that identifies that ” mommy, daddy, zaddy” is hands off unless there is an emergency.

2) Get Fresh Air!

During quarantine, if you are able to have access to your own private back or front yard, or have a place where you can go outside while safely practicing social distancing, DO IT. I am blessed to have a backyard. Even though my kids will argue with me, I kick them out of the house for an hour to go play when the weather is nice, then I switch out with them and I go out in the yard to do some work. Now, this isn’t accessible for everybody, depending on your living situation and/or what the weather is for that day. So, if it’s a rainy day or if you only have access to a window, another activity that I have both myself and my children do to keep us sane is to sit by the window. Take deep breaths, and then follow quick calming technique. Describe five things that you can see, four things that you can hear, three things that you can touch, two things you can smell, and one thing that you can taste. This is one of my favorite exercises to do when I’m stressed out. It’s also a great way to become more in tune with your outdoor and indoor environments, while developing observation and awareness skills.

3) Touch yourself.

That’s right, you heard me– put your damn hands on yourself. Being a parent stuck inside of your home with your kids means that they are all over you at all times. That can be really overwhelming, as well as our partner’s touch, which can even become unwanted after spending so much time together. It’s not that we don’t want or appreciate that touch, but more they our brains become overworked processing all the needs of others: we’re encapsulated in close quarters as primary caregivers, and our emotional labor cup can runneth over. So how can we take back our space and our enjoyment of touch? Either when the kids are busy with distance learning in a zoom classroom, or maybe when you have on your ” Fuck off Frock” … Take a moment. Maybe you place your hands on your chest and stomach while you tune in to the rise and fall of your breath. Maybe take your fingertips into the back and sides of your thighs, changing the pressure of your fingertips and seeing what your body needs. Try taking a brush to your hair, or even flesh, and really feel each individual tip of the comb on your scalp and skin. Maybe you sit on the floor while you play music and just enjoy the vibrations going up your spine. Whatever it is, you’re looking to find a touch that is soothing and comforting, so that when you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed, you have the ability to access an instant self-soothing measure that is all your own and unique to you.

Don’t be afraid to be honest and be vulnerable with your kids and your partners. This is an insanely stressful time; none of us have experienced this before, so we’re all developing the tools to get through. It’s a VERY ROUGH DRAFT. So it is okay to be honest with your kids and just tell them that you need a little space so that you can be the best parent for them while navigating this new world. If anything, you’re teaching your children compassion, the importance of self-care or whole body care, and how to develop the tools to get through tough situations like this. It will teach them how to be more aware of their loved ones and friends, how to create positive space for them. And if and when all fails…. Don’t be afraid of the TV. 1 hour of television isn’t bad for them, and one hour of daytime sanity is so important for you!

Anne Frankenstein

Manic mother of two, just trying to make it through the at home pandemonium through a pandemic.

Venmo @TheJeWitchStripper

IG @ mammaknuckles