Feeling Safe In Your Body

By Sasha Cueto

If somebody had told me that in 2020 we would be going through a world pandemic, and the biggest civil rights movement of our generation, all of that just in the first six months of the year, I would have thought they were joking, but life has a way to surprise us and make fantasy look unimaginative, hasn’t it?

Some of the common messages I have received from people this year is how they have difficulty sleeping, their jaw is so tense their teeth hurt, they have constant headaches, or feel too tired or sleepy, just to mention some symptoms. And it makes sense, our nervous systems are in “Red Alert” mode and being too long in this mode leads to burnout.

But here is the deal, we cannot change the world when we are burnout, we need resilience, and this is the purpose of these practices, to create resilience in the nervous system.

Resilience is about finding a sense of safety, something to grab on to, to rely on. And the one thing we can rely on, is our body.

I am sharing here some simple practices to help our systems process impactful events and, find some sense of safety inside of our body. You will find many of these practices are very natural responses that we use or used to have as kids, the body knows what it needs to do in order to find balance, we will just do them consciously this time. That is the secret, to do these consciously, focusing in the present moment.

These practices are some of my favorites, they help when the mind is running wild, when we feel unsafe or scared.

Swing.

Remember how long you would spend in a swing when you were little? And how relaxing it was?

It helps create a sense of inner balance, it’s soothing and helps us move out from the state of shock and freeze.

You can either find a swing, a hammock, or just sit down on a chair and start rocking your upper body back and forth for some minutes.

Back to back

Familiar with the expression I got your back? Let’s have each other’s back.

With a partner: ask your partner to sit back to back with you. Use their back to rest all your weight on and let them use your back to rest as well, creating a counterbalance. You are supporting one another.

Do this consciously, in silence, you can add some soothing by rocking your back together very slowly from one side to another.

Without a partner: sit against the wall. The sensation of having something solid holding your back is a powerful reminder of what safety feels like.

Rest your head

With a partner: Ask your partner to sit down with their back towards you, either seated on the edge of the bed or on the floor. Go on your hands and knees and rest the crown of your head on center of their back, between their shoulder blades. Stay there for a while. This is particularly good with headaches.

Without a partner: Put a pillow against the wall, and do the same posture, resting your head against the pillow.

Hug your self

It sounds so simple, but that movement is helpful to soothe your heartbeat. Just hold your arms, like if you were hugging yourself, and stay there for some minutes, focusing on your breath.

You could add some rocking back and forth if it feels necessary.

Hold still, my beating heart!

Placing one hand on your chest is a natural reaction when we have a deeply emotional response to something. Do this with presence, being in the moment and sensations that arise.

 Now at the same time that you place your hand on your heart center, place another hand on your womb (or on your solar plexus whichever works best for you) and take some deep breaths, staying there for some minutes, feeling everything that arises, welcoming all your sensations.

Sound

It is so important to find safety in expressing our voice, our pain, our feeling.

Place your attention in your body sensations, where there is tension, where there is pain or anger. Focus on how it feels in your body. Take some breaths just to explore and scan your body, to notice what is alive in it. What needs to be felt.

Inhale and focus on a sensation, exhale, and sound this sensation. What sound does this sensation wants to make? Sometimes it is just a loud sigh, sometimes it is more like a roar, sometimes it is a very particular, unnamed, even cacophonic sound, just let it out, be loud.

Repeat this whenever you need to.

Dance

I like to goofy dance, to release the tension and emotions from the body. Play a song and dance. No need to look pretty, coordinated or with rhythm, a good, shaky, goofy, silly dancing session can be the perfect medicine to relief stress. I like to add some funny, exaggerated faces, both to relax my facial muscles, and jaw, where we hold a lot of stress, and to make myself laugh at the end.

Shake

You can start gently shaking your legs as you sit on the edge of the bed or chair. See that natural shake you get when you are anxious, do it consciously, shake your legs. Stand up and exaggerate the shaking, letting it turn into a full body shake, be playful with it. You can play a song, and just shake to it.

I hope you find these practices useful; you can mix them together as you wish.

 I model some of these and some more in my free mini course:

https://www.sasha-cueto.com/safebody

IG @sasha_cueto